Am I a Writer?

I put together my first writing file a while back. I made it with an old purple three-ring binder, some page dividers and sheet protectors. I printed out a label and entitled the whole thing "Sons of Iyeza: Book One".

Flipping through it now with it's color-tabbed sections, pictures, charts, outline, character profiles, character family trees, etc., I wonder at what point one gets to call themselves a writer. I don't think I have the right to call myself an "author". I feel like that is a title that is bestowed upon you by someone else, like a publisher or a fan who has read your work. But a writer? May I now use that moniker?

Since I started this WIP I have submitted partials to two contests. Those contests were the first time I solicited an opinion on my work. They were the first time I opened my writing to judgement or even mockery. They were the first time I stuck my chest out and waited for judges to cut my heart out with rusty kitchen utensils covered with moldy, dried on food.

A funny thing happened, though. I wasn't mocked, at least not in the first contest (I am awaiting the results of the second one). On the contrary, enough writers - not just writers - authors, liked my submission to grant me the third place prize in contest #1. I got a nifty award inscribed with my pen name as a result.

I've worked with a writing coach who pushed me further than I've ever gone in my writing. This means, I made an actual financial investment in my writing. Moreover, I've gotten into a rhythm of writing pretty much every day. So this begs the question:

Am I now a writer?

I hear things all the time about Impostor Syndrome - that persistent belief that you are a fraud, pretending to be something you are not. Maybe I have a bit of that. Maybe that is why I am asking myself this question. It also does not help that being a writer, today, seems to require so much more than just writing. I love AuthorTok and AuthorTube and the like where writers post witty writerly things and offer writing advice. I haven't mastered these forums yet. I haven't even mastered this blog yet.

My manuscript, though, keeps getting more polished. My characters are more developed and more interesting than when I first wrote them, which means I have been putting in the work of learning the craft of writing even if I haven't mastered social media yet. Investing in one's craft surely puts a check mark in the "I am a writer" column. Right?

Characters also now communicate with me when I least expect it, like when I've settled down for the night - a thing I've heard happens to real writers. And like real writers, I keep tools nearby to document any bit of scene or dialog that pops into my head, lest I forget it.

Also, the days I don't write, I feel off - like the first day after the clock moves forward for daylight savings time. It's like my internal rhythm gets all messed up.

There is a scene in the movie Sister Act 2 where Whoopi Goldberg's character (Deloris/Mary Clarence) says to Lauren Hill's character (Rita):

"If when you wake up in the morning you can think of nothing but writing, then you are a writer."

If that is an accurate definition, then I am a writer. Now I just need to work on becoming an author.